If you’ve been single for a while, then you’re probably wondering what is the best way to get a girlfriend. There are so many possibilities, from just being yourself and hoping for the best or taking her out on a bunch of first dates to see if there’s a connection. But knowing which one is really going to help you find a girlfriend can be tricky.
The first way you might consider going about getting a girlfriend is being yourself. This may seem like it could never go wrong, however, it does have its disadvantages. This method isn’t proactive in helping you get the girl in the end, therefore not showing any effort whatsoever in trying to get her attention is very unattractive and she may lose interest right away without giving her the chance to actually know you better before passing judgment on you.
The next way of getting a girlfriend is taking her on first dates to see if there’s any chemistry between you two, and hope for the best. This method might seem like it would be beneficial to the girl because she gets to go out with different guys until she finds one that tickles her fancy, but it also has its disadvantages just like being yourself. The biggest one being that every time you try this method, there’s no guarantee she will still be single when your turn comes along again. Her not staying single could mean meeting someone else or breaking up with whatever guy she was currently dating making you miss out once again on your chance to go on a date with her. Then by the another opportunity does arise where you both like each other, she could be taken already.
Which one is the best way to get a girlfriend?
The last and most effective way of getting a girlfriend is by asking her out on a date and seeing if that’s what she wants as well. This method takes away any possible competition for her attention because there isn’t any: you’re not competing with other guys and neither is she. Instead, both of you are working together toward something, which ultimately makes it easier for this method to work in your favor than the others.
Furthermore, if this method does go right for you and provide results, then it will most likely result in success because you’ve both shown interest in each other so it would only make sense to date each other.
Approaching girls you don’t know
First things first, you have to start approaching girls outside of your social circle. This means you will have to start approaching girls you don’t know. You can still talk to your friends and such, but if you’re looking for a girlfriend, the only way that’s going to happen is by meeting new people.
Start with cute girls in class or at work
If you have a class together or work together, start with those girls. The closer the relationship you have with them already is, the better it will be when trying to ask them out later on. If they know you well enough and like you already, they’ll most likely say ‘yes’ when asked out. If not… well, no harm done because she doesn’t even count as being one of your potential girlfriends from before!
Don’t just look at their body
While it is wise to make sure you find someone who is physically attracted to you, don’t just talk to girls because they are hot. Talk to girls who you think are nice and who will like you for your personality too!
Don’t be afraid of rejection
Rejection hurts. It really does. I’ve been rejected before and it sucks. However, remember that everyone gets rejected at some point! Just try again later on if she says no the first time around. Not every girl is down for a relationship with a guy she doesn’t know (yet). Just keep trying until one says ‘yes’!
Confidence is key! If you don’t have it yet, work on building up your confidence by meditating or watching videos online. You can do it!
Girls like guys who look nice. Don’t dress like a bum, but also don’t dress like you’re going to prom either. Just make sure you’re clean and that your clothes fit (no baggy shirts or loose pants). Girls will notice these things, trust me. Make sure you look decent enough before trying to talk to them too!
Trying to act like someone you think will make girls like you is stupid. Be yourself instead; the man who likes cats, video games, and science fiction/fantasy books—the guy who isn’t afraid of his own emotions. If she doesn’t like those things about you because they aren’t her thing, then that’s okay. She isn’t your thing either and it doesn’t make you any less of a person.
Girls like guys with good personalities
So, that means bothering to be nice and not treating girls like crap! A lot of guys think they can treat women poorly and get away with it. They’re wrong. Girls don’t like when guys are jerks or push them around (I know I sure as hell don’t). Also, telling them lies is pointless because eventually they’ll find out about it! Honesty really is the best policy… but also remember not to be too honest too fast—that’s a turn off for most people too!
Give her a genuine compliment
This is the best way to get a genuine girlfriend. When you compliment her, make sure it’s something good, and if it isn’t all that great of a compliment, try to think of another one.
She might laugh in the beginning when you give a good comment on her outfit or hair in the morning but in all honesty she will appreciate it deeply even if she laughs at first. Girls have been conditioned by society to be insecure about their looks so telling her she is beautiful can truly help restore some of this confidence back into your girlfriend.
After you have gotten settled with giving out compliments regularly, start trying for big ones such as telling your girlfriend how much she means to you and how much better off she is with you than without you. This way, when you tell her you love her, you are not bluffing.
One thing to remember is to be completely genuine with your compliments. She will know if they are false because she is likely the only person who knows herself better than anybody else does. A true compliment can make or break a relationship, so make sure it’s worth it!
Compliment her once more on things girls care about
Girls care about their appearance, no matter if they say otherwise. After she knows that you think she looks pretty whenever she wears pants or a dress, then let it go for awhile and start offering compliments up again every few days or every week. This time though try some different ones such as telling her how much you enjoy talking to her even when she is not dressed up or how well she handles certain situations. If you are observant, you can find out about her likes and dislikes by asking around to mutual friends, family members, etc…
Don’t make her over-analyze your compliments
These are the worst kind of compliments if they are not genuine. A girl will think that she is unworthy of a good compliment because she thinks it was too easy for you rather than realizing that it truly means something!! Be careful with your words and come off as sincere and I guarantee you will have an amazing girlfriend who looks forward to hearing more from you each day!
Going on a date
Deciding where to go out on a date shouldn’t be too difficult. Many guys are nervous when they go out on dates because they have no idea if their date will have a good time, or if she is even enjoying herself. This nervousness is often unnecessary, as most girls enjoy being taken around to different places in order to get to know the guy better.
It’s also important that you don’t plan the entire night out yourself, but give your date some agency over where you go. If your plans include drinks, make sure there are options for non-alcoholic drinks (for example, soda). Also try and avoid talking about topics like exes during any of your dates until after you’ve established some sort of connection with her.
Note: Before you suggest anything more personal than a movie and drinks, ask her out on an actual date by picking her up instead of meeting her somewhere. Even if you know she’s interested in you, traditional dates can help build the connection that will increase your chances of getting a girlfriend.
Establishing attraction with conversation
Conversation is probably one of the most important aspects to getting a girlfriend, but it is often something that guys are blind to when trying to get a girl to like them romantically. Don’t stress yourself about thinking of things to say next because it should be very easy for you to reciprocate what she says without much thought at all. Additionally, try not to stare into each other’s eyes while talking or else it will make either person nervous and uncomfortable. Also, don’t continue a conversation for too late into the night because it will just tire you both out and things won’t go as smoothly as they have been.
Talking about your interests
Trying to talk about your interests with a girl is one of the best ways that you can demonstrate that you’re actually listening to her and understand what she’s trying to say. It also shows that you enjoy spending time with someone even if you aren’t speaking directly to each other – being able to give them undivided attention shows a high level of caring. Nothing is more off-putting than a guy who ignores girls around him so he can focus on talking with his date alone.
It might seem like simple advice, but knowing how to talk to a girl is actually one of the most important things you need in order to get a girlfriend. If you are struggling with conversation, try listening intently instead of trying to bring up your own stories or opinions that she might not be able to relate to.
Using touch in conversation sparingly
Some girls enjoy talking about personal issues while places like hugs and hand-holding are reserved for when they’re in more intimate relationships. While it’s fine if you want to briefly put your arm around her shoulder or hold hands when walking together, don’t do anything beyond that because it will make her feel uncomfortable the longer the physical contact lasts. It’s also good not too long into your meeting each other before you ask for her number so you can touch base more frequently in the future.
Like with talking about your interests, flirting with a girl is one of the best ways to get on her good side and make her want you as more than just a friend. If you already know that she likes you, it’s okay to say something like “I bet [insert fictional crush here] would love you,” but don’t do this if there is any doubt in your mind that she isn’t into you yet – even if it’s just a joke. However, it may be worth making fun of yourself or something silly at your expense if it gets her laughing and smiling around you more often, which will go a long way in showing that you’re interested in being with her.
Asking her to hang out again
Once you’ve established some sort of connection, try asking your date if she wants to do something else with you sometime before the end of your official date together. Something like suggesting that you both go on another date is a good way to move past the awkwardness of ending the night now, but this depends entirely on how much time has passed since you first met each other and what type of relationship you want with her in the future. If there hasn’t been enough time for anything more serious, it’s best to leave things as they are rather than ruining everything by trying to force it onto an unsuspecting girl.
Don’t make assumptions about girls
It’s easy for guys who just want to get a girlfriend to jump to conclusions about girls, but it’s important to understand that most of them have just as much trouble trying to be with someone special as you do. It’s also good not too long into your meeting each other before you ask for her number so you can touch base more frequently in the future.
Trying too hard
Just being yourself is already enough for most people because everyone has their own set of interests and quirks that are unique to themselves. If you try too hard, it shows the girl that you aren’t all that interested in who she really is or what she wants out of life, which tells her that there isn’t anything particularly special about her. Picking up on little things like this and trying to change them before even getting to know her on a personal level is off-putting and will likely send her running for the hills.
Keep your conversation topics interesting
No one likes feeling bored by someone they are supposed to be interested in, so you want to make sure that you are never the reason why she feels this way around you. Even if she isn’t as into some of the same things as you are, it’s better to at least seem somewhat enthusiastic about them than thinking about what might be your best escape route out of the date early. If talking about yourself becomes too difficult or something boring like movies comes up, try asking her questions about herself so she can open up more and start who you really are.
Start teasing her
Teasing her in a fun way and just having a fun banter is the best way to get a girlfriend and keep her interested in you. Girls want to have fun too and they also want guys who can make them laugh.
Praise her features
If she’s beautiful, it’s important to tell her that she is beautiful as this creates confidence within the girl and will boost her attractiveness as well as yours as she’ll be more likely to feel like you’re attracted to her for who she is rather than what she looks like. If she’s not particularly hot then it’s fine not to compliment her but if you do then don’t go overboard with it. Just saying “You’re really pretty” and nothing else could seem fake and insincere because there isn’t anything specifically different about what you said or how you said it. If you think she does have features worth praising then tell her so! Just remember to be honest and say it in a way that relates to what she looks like.
Be kind and caring
Girls get bored of guys who only care about getting their belt or shoes on sale or scoring the best iPhone deal. No girl wants to date a guy who will dump her if someone better comes along because he’s only interested in how rich she is, not how well she treats him. It’s important to be nice and give genuine compliments and pick up on good qualities that the girl has and simply show that you really do appreciate them even if they’re not necessarily what you’re looking for in a girlfriend (because everyone has at least one good quality).
Don’t be the opposite of what you want to attract
Don’t go around being a jerk or acting tough because girls won’t take you seriously when it comes to actually dating them. It’s not good to act too nice either though so don’t be afraid to have some fun in your interactions with her since it can help if she knows that there are two sides to you. Saying things like “I could lie and say I’m interested in more than just getting into your pants, but we both know what this is really about” sounds incredibly fake and sleazy and even if she doesn’t realize it, nobody deserves to feel like someone is taking advantage of them for sex. Girls love guys who play coy and keep them guessing until the end which gives them a sense of accomplishment when they finally get you to say yes.
Make her laugh
Humor is the best way to attract anyone, not just girls. If she’s laughing with you then she’s spending time with you and that means more to her than any expensive gift or other type of gesture. That doesn’t mean to do stupid things for attention but be nice and have fun together so she enjoys being around you rather than leaving as soon as possible. Make sure your jokes are actually funny though since acting like an idiot will only make people want to avoid you more. You can also try telling stories about past experiences that involve humor or just trying being self-deprecating if it seems right in the moment.
Focus on her during the conversation
This is important. You have to make her the focus on the conversation because that shows that you’re interested in who she is as a person. One way to do this is by asking her questions and remembering the answers. If she talks about her kitten then ask her more about that cat of hers and how she’s been since you last saw it or seen pictures online of it. Make sure to really listen when she speaks rather than just waiting for your turn to talk because listening is important if you want others to take what you say seriously or at least appear like they care about what you have to say.
Don’t be clingy
If you see a girl every day after school, don’t bother coming up with excuses to hang out with her because girls think of this as too much effort so it’ll only make them lose interest faster. It’s okay to text every so often after the first few dates but if she doesn’t respond within a reasonable timeframe then try not to get upset since she might just be busy with something else. Don’t read into anything that isn’t there and focus on yourself instead of thinking about who could be better for you because she’s probably going through the same thing.
Related: How To Not Be Boring When Texting a Girl
Don’t judge her by superficial things
If you’re looking for a girlfriend who has certain qualities like being funny or confident, don’t be turned away from someone if they aren’t what you expected. Some girls may not fit your mental image of what a “perfect” short term girlfriend would be like but it’s important to see them as people rather than walking stereotypes. Be chill and try to laugh at yourself when something embarrassing happens.
Don’t put a time limit on the relationship
If it’s going well, don’t assume that you have a set time frame in which it has to end. Things can unexpectedly come up and if your romance is going smoothly then there shouldn’t be any reasons for her not to want to continue seeing you since she should know that you’re worth staying with even if things aren’t ideal all of the time. It’s definitely okay to talk about what could happen in the future but don’t bring it up unless she seems comfortable with the idea because nobody wants someone else making their decisions for them so they may feel pushed into doing something they don’t really want or like just because you were afraid of the unknown.
Don’t try to change her
Every person has their own personality and that’s what makes everyone special. Trying to change a girl into your ideal girlfriend is only going to make you unhappy in the end because she won’t feel like herself anymore and it’ll be hard on both of you. If you really care about someone, accept them for who they are instead of expecting them to adapt to fit what you want from them or just looking for a different partner if they aren’t capable of being a good match.
Make sure you avoid talking about politics
Politics always destroy a date. So you have to be very careful with the topic. Also, don’t talk about something too strange or weird like your idea of what heaven looks like because she’ll probably try to be polite and act interested but you’ll both know that she isn’t really into it so just stick to discussing topics that are casual and generally accepted as part of regular human conversation.
Don’t expect her to pay for everything
This can be seen as too much pressure rather than a sign of genuine affection. If you’re genuinely broke then offer to buy her food if you’re on a date somewhere where they serve meals otherwise ask for separate checks when going out unless she specifically offers to pay instead before leaving. Some girls will be fine with splitting the cost even if they do have more money than you but it’s best to be clear from the beginning so nobody gets a skewed impression of the other.
Don’t stay out past 1am
It might seem like a good idea to go out and have fun but if your girlfriend is tired then she’ll probably just drag you down with her so stop at midnight unless there’s an emergency or something going on that makes prolonging the date unavoidable. Don’t invite people over to your houses who you aren’t sure are responsible enough to be around someone who isn’t family because they might not know how to act in front of strangers and accidentally say something offensive.
Make time for each other when you can
Spontaneity can help make dates more exciting and memorable but breaking plans for no good reason can also make your girlfriend feel resentful and used. Try to be more considerate of her schedule because if she’s busy then you probably are too so it might be easier to meet up when both of you have time off or just suggest doing something without offering any specific suggestions for what exactly that activity will entail.
Don’t ask her out via text message
One-word messages, emoticons, or other short forms of communication should only be used when the people talking already know each other well enough not to need all of the extra steps involved in verbal conversation. It may seem efficient but these kinds of messages aren’t actually any faster than verbal conversations so don’t think that asking someone out using a few abbreviated words instead of the full phrase is at all romantic or flattering because it’s really just rude and awkward if you don’t know the other person very well.
Avoid talking about religion
Religion is the 2nd topic that you should always avoid. This is because the religion topic is one of the most important topics that motivate people to never change their mind. For example, a conversation might be going fine until a person says “I am an atheist.” The conversation will be different immediately after this sentence has been said, and it may become hostile instead of cooperative.
This also refers to asking about a girl’s religious beliefs on a first date or during interview type settings as well as mentioning your own beliefs.
Focus on her interests
When you’re talking about things she likes, she’ll feel rewarded for having those interests. On the other hand, when you talk about things that she does not enjoy or doesn’t understand then she will start feeling bad by being judged for not enjoying that thing.
Do not show your emotions on purpose
Don’t ever fake any emotions, such as getting excited about something that does not excite you. If she senses you’re faking it, she will be turned off and the conversation will become tense and awkward.
Instead of acting like someone who is happy, enthusiastic or sad then pretend to be emotional by merely thinking about something that would bring out those feelings in real life. When you think of a time where you were truly emotional (if it’s genuine) then your body language and voice tone will convey this emotion to her.
Don’t start complaining about your job either
Complaining about your job is the best way to give her an impression that you might not be the best person to date. So make sure that you also don’t complain about your job even if it’s super difficult to do some tasks. Don’t start complaining about women either
Even though you will see many articles on how people are making money out of this topic, I think that most men won’t mind reading something like “how great their life would be with a girlfriend”. And most women won’t mind having a boyfriend who is absolutely in love with them. If all goes well, then she will most likely end up being in love with you too, and then she will be the first one to complain about her job. Don’t start complaining about education either
When I was 21 years old I had this girl that told me that it would be cool to go study at another university since there were so many handsome guys there. But after five minutes she wanted to know how much money do I earn so far? And if I can pay for everything by myself or not? So take my advice instead of simply “being honest” all the time, you should take advantage of your impressive experience in comparison to her age. Otherwise she might think that you just want someone who has enough money for both things since you don’t have any yet. Always give her your full attention
Even though young guys from the new generation have shorter attention spans than ever, this might still be a very important tip if you don’t want to lose her for good. So whenever she starts talking about something, just listen to her attentively and show some empathy as well. You should also try asking her more questions so that she feels comfortable sharing more of herself with you. Even if this topic is not interesting at all, try staying focused on it anyway because it will make her feel better. Use charm
Don’t run out of things to say since even the best pick up artists sometimes don’t know what they’re doing wrong. If you notice that your conversations are not completely perfect yet then use your charm instead and most likely will work every single time (unless she’s a vegan). But if you said something completely stupid and impolite, then I think the best thing would be to grab a coffee with her anyway because this might still give her a chance to see that you’re not as bad as it seemed at first.
Don’t expect too much from your dinner either
If you invite her for dinner and are expecting too much, then you are setting yourself up for disappointment. Avoid this and you will be in a better place to enjoy your date instead. Don’t expect too little from your dinner either
Since so many guys are doing the same things when taking their women out, try asking her what is she interested in lately. Or what is the first thing that pops up into her mind right now? This way you can make sure that you will learn more and more about each other so I think you should do this more often than not. Don’t brag about your achievements
If she asks you what is the best thing that happened so far in your life, then don’t start bragging about your achievements since she probably has something similar already. Try telling her what was the best decision that you ever made in life and why it’s great to be living like this. She will definitely appreciate if you tell her how much effort you put into achieving things like that (instead of simply saying “I did my best” or “it came naturally to me”). Use humor
Humor can save many situations but at the same time I know many guys who are using humor all the time when they want to make women laugh. But one wrong move and you’ll be in a very bad place. Try listening to your girl more often
I know that it’s much easier said than done since most guys are not used to doing this but at least try to do it once or twice. She might even think that you’re the one who is controlling the situation if she notices how carefully you’re listening to her. Use less sarcasm
Yes, sarcasm is still very common among young men these days but I can tell you from my own experience that women don’t like when guys are being sarcastic all the time. So try joking less and telling more serious things instead
Don’t wait until something goes wrong before trying to make up for damage control If she thinks of herself as a strong and independent woman then she probably won’t wait until something goes wrong before trying to make things right. So if you notice that you did something really stupid, then try apologizing even though it might be too late already (this will most likely happen with most women).
Don’t suggest or ask her immediately after the first date
I know you want to go out with her again as soon as possible but don’t act like this otherwise your actions will seem fake and she’ll notice. Try waiting for one or two weeks (or maybe even more) before suggesting another meetup or asking her directly about it . By doing so, you’ll give her a chance to miss you and find out how much she actually likes spending time with you. Don’t stop talking about other topics
If you only talk about things that are related to your interests then she might feel like she is out of place and not needed anymore. So instead of doing this, try talking about different topics as well since if you spread all of your attention then she will surely love it (and who knows what might happen). Don’t promise something that you can’t keep
Unlike many guys think, women aren’t impressed at all when men are promising them the whole world just because they want to hook up with them. Keep this in mind and avoid promises that you cannot keep at all costs. Try flirting with her more often than not.