- Helps guys who have serious approach anxiety, problems attracting women, or are stuck in the friend zone
- Material is easy to absorb and implement
- You get a glimpse into how a female mind works (the creator of this course is a female therapist)
- Unlike other PUA courses, this program teaches men how to create meaningful connections with girls
- It also teaches men how to adopt a healthy mindset when they are looking to get laid
- Offer practical advice and tips that you can implement right now
- Gives you conversation patterns that you can follow
- One of the best programs out there for guys that are just starting out
- If you are an advanced guy, you won’t learn much from this course
- Even though the course material is easy to absorb, you will need to go through it a couple of times to completely understand how everything goes together.
- There are some concepts that Jessica (the creator of this course) could have fleshed out.
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Speak to Spark Arousal is a fairly new dating course from Jessica J. Her goal behind creating the speak to spark arousal program was to give guys a solid framework that they can use to meet, attract and connect with women that they desire. And that they do it in a way that is desirable to the women that they are doing this with.
The biggest selling point of this product is that it is created from a woman’s perspective, a female dating coach. 99% of the dating courses out there are created by men, which gives a one-sided view of the entire dating market. Speak to Spark Arousal brings a fresh perspective to it.
And you can clearly see it in the course videos. Throughout the speak to spark arousal dating course, you will notice that Jessica J gives her impressions of how it would make her feel when guys are approaching her and trying to pick her up by saying certain pickup lines. She goes over the good things and the bad things. This glimpse into a woman’s mind helps a ton in developing the social skills and the dating skills that guys need to succeed with women in today’s day and age.
The entire course consists of videos and some written material as well. But if you are someone who likes to consume info via audio only, there is an option where you can do that as well.
Now that you know the basics of what Speak to Spark Arousal is about, the obvious next question is – who is Jessica J?
Jessica J – A Marriage and Family Therapist
Jessica has a background in marriage and family counseling. But the thing that got her a lot of media attention was her online dating profile. At one point, she had one of THE most popular online dating profiles in the Los Angeles area. That brought her a lot of media attention.
Media attention is good. But what brought her more experience, is the number of guys she came across when they were trying to pick her up. That’s when she learned a lot about the things that men could improve to increase their chances with the women they are trying to approach.
She is also known for her own blog where she focuses on the single girl’s sex life in Hollywood.
At one point she also became a ghost-writer for 2 Girls Teach Sex which is one of the most prominent sex advice companies in the country.
These days she focuses more on helping men escape the dreaded friend zone and using her arousal system in attracting women.
The Wolf Or a Dog Metaphor In Attracting Women
Once you start going through the speak to spark arousal program you will realize that Jessica uses a lot of metaphors to help you understand the concepts that she is trying to teach. The wolf of a dog is one of those metaphors.
She says that women are naturally more attracted to men who are wolves and not dogs.
This is what she says about that:
The guys who are proud of their sexual appetite for women are the ones who go the FURTHEST because THAT’S what will make you stand out from any other guy out there and other guys in her life: The confidence in your sexual appetite and your refusal to feel shame for it. It’s just a matter of harnessing that appetite to get you fed. That’s the difference between dogs and wolves… Dogs hopefully wait around to get fed… often performing tricks for treats and striving for the pat on the head. Wolves feed themselves. Women want wolves.
She goes much more in detail about that but it does make sense if you think about it. If you are unapologetic about taking control of your sex life, almost all women will appreciate and respect you for it.
Because you are being honest about what you are looking for in a girl. While other guys that pretend to be nice and pretend to be their friend for that treat and the pat on their head, the girls will feel less attracted and downright betrayed by them. Because they pretended to befriend them when in reality they just wanted to hook up with them.
She says that if you are coming from a mindset that you need to please women to get laid, then you are coming from the wrong mindset. You need to put yourself as the mental point of origin.
Ask what do you need. And find the women that are open to giving what you need. That way, you will attract and seduce women that are more interested in you. And those women will also appreciate the fact that you were upfront with them about what you are looking for.
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How Do Women Want You To Talk To Them?
This is the biggest question that has been confusing men since the dawn of time – how can they have a natural conversation with the opposite sex that ends up creating sexual tension between both of them?
Speak to Spark Arousal goes in-depth on this topic. Jessica covers everything that she thinks most men do wrong and how that can lower their attraction for them. Coming from a woman’s point of view, this is highly valuable advice for all ordinary men like you and I.
And yes, she also teaches men how to fix those problems once and for all.
The best thing about this product is that she makes sure that she is keeping things simple. Most dating products out there complicate things too much for their own good, which ironically, is not good at all.
In the Speak to Spark Arousal program, Jessica talks about a simple 3-step equation that you can always keep in your mind to make sure that your conversations are always on track.
Another thing she talks about is coming off as a “gamey” or PUA kind of person. That is the opposite of what attracts women. You want to make sure that you are genuine in your interactions with women. That way, they can understand you for who you are and not something that you are pretending to be. That is the worse thing you can do when talking to a woman.
The interview mode is another thing that most guys get into. This is one of the biggest mistakes that you can make because it just starts to feel weird to a woman after a certain point. To avoid this, she talks about the HAY and the PRS technique that you can use to avoid falling in the interview mode.
It is nothing revolutionary, to be honest, but it is solid info if you ask me. A lot of guys find it very confusing to get past that 10-15 seconds after their opening conversations. These 2 techniques will help them keep the conversation interesting and also give them a chance to genuinely connect with the girl.
The end goal here is to get you to a point where it is effortless for you to start and keep conversations going with attractive women all the time. You don’t have to be a super-genius to do that. And you definitely don’t need to memorize a bunch of lines that you can just vomit in every conversation. You can just be in the moment, have a couple of natural conversation starters in your mind when you go in. And besides that, you should always have fun and connect with women in real-time.
How To Start Making Things Flirty and Playful
Once you can connect with a woman by having interesting conversations, you want to make sure that you are quickly making the conversation playful and flirty. Because if you don’t, they will either get confused about what you are looking for and they will automatically put you in the dreaded friend zone, or they will just assume that you are gay and you just wanted a female friend.
Both of those things are not good.
You might be thinking that the techniques to make the interaction more playful and flirty might be something groundbreaking. To be honest, it is nothing new. If you have read any articles about dating advice you probably already know these techniques.
But that does not mean they are not effective. If you are unfamiliar with these techniques, then these ideas will benefit you.
She teaches 6 techniques on how you can be flirty. But like I said, these techniques are nothing new. And if you take the time to read some dating advice articles you will learn these techniques on your own.
3 of those techniques are aimed toward beginners and the other 3 are aimed toward advanced guys.
So if you are unaware of these basic techniques to make your interactions playful and flirty, then these will be beneficial for you. And if you take the time to master them, you will be able to see immediate results in terms of the women you can get.
After these techniques, Jessica talks about why you need to make sure that you are doing the things in the order she teaches them to avoid coming off as a pickup artist or an uncalibrated person. She gives an example of how it will come across to her if the guy skips trying to connect with her by having an interesting conversation and skips straight to flirting or in worst case – tries to have a sexual conversation.
So if you are someone who tends to skip around the steps, then this advice will hit home for you. Because this is where the speak to spark arousal system shines. Who knows, maybe just correcting that one thing alone will get you the kind of results you’ve been looking for.
She also has some exercises that you can go through to practice being playful and flirty using the techniques she teaches you. She gives you a list of 10 things that a woman might say and based on that you have to make the conversation playful and flirty.
This exercise is a good idea because it will get you some practice (duh!) but it will also put you in the mindset of being flirty. But the problem is, she could’ve gone a bit deeper on this because there are no examples or follow-up ideas about what you should do when you get a good response or a bad response.
So you really don’t know whether the answers you came up with for this exercise are good ones or bad ones.
If you had a list or an example of what a good response looks like and contrasting that with how a bad response looks like, you could compare that with the responses you came up with and see what things you can change to start having better conversations and positive results with women.
So How Can You Apply Speak to Spark Arousal In Real Life?
This is the part where most dating products fall short. Because almost all of them teach really good stuff. But the problem is, all of those things only work in theory. When applied in real life, it all comes across as just some guy that is too pickup artist-y or straight-up weird or creepy. You need to make sure you create lasting connections with these women along with healthy boundaries.
So the question is, does Jessica J back up her teachings with examples on how you can apply all of this in real life without coming across as a creep?
Thankfully she does and it does look like these techniques will not come across as creepy. But the problem is, she could’ve provided more examples throughout the course. That would’ve given you a better idea of how it would look like for someone to apply the course material in real life.
There’s one example where a guy gets her number in an elevator in under 30 seconds. Which is a good example. I just wish she could’ve provided more examples like that because there are certain situations in which a lot of men can’t think of anything to say.
She says that in those situations you should focus on being present and find something organic that can spark a conversation.
But if I were in that situation, I would’ve been better off memorizing a line or two for these specific scenarios. That way, I could at least get the conversation going and calibrate in real-time based on how the woman responds. Not only will that reduce the time it takes me to start a conversation, which is one of the biggest reasons why men have approach anxiety, it also gives me time to think about more things to talk about.
This is not to say that there aren’t a lot of examples in the course. There are, but I just think that she could have added more examples like the ones she already has to drive this point home.
The overall idea of this course is to teach you how to interact with women and how you can get really good at that. This doesn’t focus much on WHAT to say. Your goal should be to remember the core principles that she teaches in this course and not to learn the specific things to say to a woman.
Should You Learn How to Pick Up Women From a Woman?
This is the age old question in the dating industry right?
It is very well known that most women, in general, are really bad at describing what got them interested in a man. They often give advice based on what will work for a woman and not necessarily what would work for a man.
The good thing is, Jessica doesn’t fall into those things. I think she has a good amount of experience to differentiate between what really works and what she might wrongly interpret as working. And her experience as a marriage counselor does come in handy with that. And she brings that experience and knowledge to Speak to Spark Arousal.
She knows what she is doing and what works for me. And it does tend to align with what a lot of the good dating coaches out there teach you – to focus on yourself first and knowing what makes you happy.
She also goes into detail about how women feel about dating and sex because these topics are still considered taboo to this day. And it helps a lot of guys to learn that women have a lot of sexual desire. And it will give them confidence when they hear it from a woman.
For example, she talks about why men should just go for it if they feel sexual chemistry with a woman. Because a lot of the time, the woman might also be having sexual thoughts about you. Obviously you need to make sure that there are healthy boundaries that you never cross. And even if that ends up being a one-night stand with no strings, it is possible that the feeling may be mutual.
One thing I loved is that she also says that women are capable of deciding for themselves about who they want to have sex with and what they want and don’t want in a man. This is a fresh perspective because these days most men just like to put themselves through so many filters that they just end up coming off as the most boring guy on earth.
This perspective will allow you to open yourself up and let the women decide if they like you for who you are. And you’d be pleasantly surprised how many girls are into you.
Bottom Line – Is the Speak to Spark Arousal Worth It?
If you are a beginner, Speak to Spark Arousal is a good starting point for you. I’d categorise it as a solid beginner’s product. You will learn how to communicate with women to make them feel more attracted to you while also having fun. The selling point of this product is that it is being taught by a woman and you get to see things from a woman’s perspective.
I will say that there isn’t anything too complicated for you to understand. Speak to Spark Arousal is probably one of the best beginner courses out there in the sense that you will get to learn the core principles of attracting more women. And once you master these principles, the rest of the things will come easy to you.
There are some parts where you will need to fill in the blanks yourself because there just aren’t many examples of their implementation in the real world. Like I said above, this course is mainly about the core principles and not about the specific lines that you can repeat.
I do think that if you are repeating lines whenever you are trying to attract a woman, then you are missing the point. You should be in the moment.
For most beginners, the speak to spark arousal program will be more than enough to get them started on this journey.
The great thing about this program is that there is a 100% money back guarantee if you aren’t satisfied with it. You can just email their support and get a refund.
Skills: Meeting women
Experience Level: Beginner
Dating Coach: Jessica J
Learning Format: Online
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